My life as a Mum to an angel

Life after life

I am feeling this morning like I want to write about my opinions on what happens to us after we die. Since losing our son Terence I have surrounded much of my online time with people in similar situations. They tend to consist of people, mainly women, who have suffered the loss of a child in some way or another. I felt comfort in knowing we were not alone in our situation.

It is quite amazing that despite friends and family rallying around, doing the only things they can think of to do, you are filled with this deep emptiness and loneliness. In some ways I even felt lonely when it came to my husband, because his expression of grief is so radically different from mine. We each allow each other to express it in whichever way we feel is necessary, even though I was left with no kitchen chairs. ( Thank you Paul and Terry for the seemingly long term replacements) So I surround myself with these other baby loss mamas as we call ourselves.

Anyway, I see a lot of these BLM’s have a strong faith in God. I have never been an especially religious person despite the fact that my maternal grandfather was a captain in the salvation army and we went to Sunday school every week, and the strong religious undertones in school assemblies (remember back in the days when religion was in schools and we couldn’t care less if people got offended?)

I have always seemed to find it easier to believe the explanations that the scientific community has given us, which has also been compounded by my choice in reading material even if some of it is purely fiction. I always seemed to be more spiritually open to those theories. (I’m sure my grandad is turning in his grave) I read books like The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and Terry Pratchett novels. The most interesting of which, to me, was Terry’s collaborations with scientists Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen on the “science of Discworld” series.

A trilogy as you can see, it explores our world from the scientific point of view without being too boring or overwhelming (although there were parts I had to read over again just to make sure I understood them) with interjections of comedic humour from the story of the wizards of Discworld’s unseen university to lighten the book for the scientifically challenged like myself. I found the books to be very enlightening, and challenging to myself and to the world as we understand it. Also let me say that I do like to get different perspectives on things. I know and understand that every story has multiple facets and a person can only really make a true informed decision if they have information from all of those facets. In my line of work we call this “informed consent”, so I am also trying to (slowly I admit) read the “Left behind” series of books. Just to get that side of the story.

Now, before I get stuck into my theory on what happens after we die, don’t for one minute think that I am denying the existence of God or some sort of higher power or whatever it is you choose to believe. I am yet to really draw any kind of conclusion on that and really feel a bit strange saying that the majority of the world’s population is wrong or somehow under some sort of mass delusion. Far from it. I am in absolutely no position to make that claim and I am open to the idea that my theory is possibly just part of “God’s plan” or whatever you’d call it, but I am fairly certain that I believe what I believe, and if I am wrong and there is a heaven and hell, can I really be condemned for using the intelligence I have and drawing my own conclusions when nature or God gave me the ability to do that?

OK, here goes.

We know that the human body is run by the brain which consists of lots of electrical impulses going off here and there causing our thoughts, reactions, emotions, mood actions, movements etc etc, and these little electrical impulses travel all over our body via nerves. For the sake of this explaination I will call this “energy” With me so far?

OK, we also know that, pretty much everything around us has some kind of energy flowing through it with atoms and what have you. Right?

We also know that electricity which powers our lights and TV’s has to travel on a circuit, basically even when we’re done with it making our light bulb glow it doesn’t simply cease to exist,, it has to go somewhere, either to the ground or wherever. Right?

So my theory is that the “energy” that powers us is the same. It doesn’t simply cease to exist, it goes “to ground” or into the world that surrounds us and is then available to travel through just about anything that consists of atoms etc. or similar “energy” to us, and after we die, there is no distinction between our energies, we all simply become a part of the mass of energy flowing through the earth and everything on it. Make sense? It certainly does to me and I receive great comfort in believing that Terence’s energy or even just part of it is able to flow through something around us at any time, keeping him close somehow. I also feel comfort that  our energies will be combined once more when I die and we can zip through things as one.

I also feel that this is how Kylie (my youngest step-daughter) was visited by a hummingbird that flew directly in front of her face shortly after Terence passed, and Kimberley (my eldest step-daughter) had the same experience with a dragonfly which even landed on her finger just a few days later. When I asked the “Did you feel like it was Terence letting you know he was ok?” Both replied “YES” and I, armed with my theory on the afterlife, wholeheartedly believe them. I had the same thing with flies!!


Comments on: "Life after life" (1)

  1. I for one saw alot of blue birds around that time, now that i think about it, an unseemingly amount of blue birds. 🙂

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