My life as a Mum to an angel

Facing up to things

Well, I am currently sitting in Philadelphia airport at a free charging station (wow)  killing some time between my flights. I have a 6 hour layover and I am only half way through it so I thought I would come and share some of my thoughts with you (whoever you may be reading this)

Whilst sitting here in the airport I cannot help but think about the first part of Fight Club where he talks about single serving friends. I don’t know if friends is the right word for my fellow travelers here unless that one common factor of being travelers makes us friends even if in a single serving. I was actually sitting here thinking about how we separate ourselves for fear of attempting to strike up a conversation with someone who doesn’t speak a word of a common language. Me being the way I am tried to make jokes about the fact that the electricity being free and wanting to run a 2000 mile long extension to my house with a guy it seems was not English speaking predominantly but had some words here and there and laughed politely after seeing my face light up amused by my own hilarity. Don’t bother putting me on the stage, I wouldn’t make a dime lol.

So, I am at Philadelphia airport en route to my mum and dad’s house in Manchester, England. I have been seriously procrastinating about going over and seeing them. Not because I don’t love them, far from it, but because I hate to do anything without my husband there. I hate being away from him, and I hate that I get the benefit of a holiday while he stays home dealing with the daily crap alone. Although I have to admit I do need this holiday seriously!!

I had planned on surprising my parents with my arrival, not just because of the fun factor of that (who doesn’t like surprises?) but mainly because I didn’t want my mum fussing and going out of her way for me when she has enough to do. The surprise was almost spoiled by my husband who had a moment of airheadeded-ness and posted on Facebook about my imminent vacation. Damage limitation saw to that and my parents were none the wiser. Although a few family members had to be sworn to secrecy.

The whistle was well and truly blown on the whole scheme when the taxi firm that I had called to collect me from the airport showed up on the wrong day and thinking I had been kidnapped or that they had it the wrong way round went to my parents house to see if I was there. Obviously this drove my parents into a frenzy and they called our house this morning about 5 mins after our alarm had woken us to leave for the airport!! At 2am my brain isn’t fast enough to explain why a taxi attempting to collect me was standing at their front door lol.

So why am I facing up to things? Well this will be the first time since Terence was born that I have seen my parents, I have lived a lifetime in that time and I have to face up to their outpouring of grief with and for me and also the guilt that I never got around to taking my son to meet his grandparents. I feel tentative about the whole thing and we shall see how it goes.

Expect an update in the coming days!!



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