My life as a Mum to an angel

It’s all about me!

Well, here goes. So do I start my story from the day my mum gave birth to me? I suppose that’s where it all started but I don’t remember that or the couple of years that followed, so not much of an interesting read there. I could probably cover it with some basic information about me.

  • I was born in England
  • I moved to California
  • I am married to a Canadian
  • I am an RN in England but not in the USA
  • I work as an Operating Room Technician
  • I have had 3 miscarriages
  • My only child died from Bacterial Meningitis in 2009
  • I have 5 step-daughters
  • I have 2 dogs and 2 beta fish

The real reason for me starting to blog is that our son died of bacterial meningitis at 8 months old. I really don’t see life the same anymore. I am a changed person because of that one pivotal event in my life and there is no going back to who I used to be. Therefore, I think part of this is getting to know who I am now.

It’ll be 2 years in July since he died, and I’m sure I’ll blog about that whole event at some point. I’m really just going to let the words flow out I suppose whenever they have the urge to be put into black and white. Even this far along from that fateful day, and that alone used to terrify me, time passing away from the last time I held him, I find that grief encapsulates me and has such a strong hold on me that I cannot imagine feeling any other way ever again.

So as I said, I have to get to know this grief encapsulated person that I have become, and hopefully find a way to learn to live with her and maybe even gain some control over her again like I had before.

There is much more to tell because as I said my story is long-winded but this is a good start and has the basics down. Seems like a good beginning to me.

Although I have dipped my toes in blogging before on my MySpace account (which I don’t use anymore due to the immaturity on there) I’m still not quite sure what it involves. I have read other people’s blogs and it seems to just be like a journal of your thoughts and experiences. Here is where I fall short. I’ve never really been one to keep a diary or journal but recently have found myself wanting to write down the ideas and ( sometimes strange) things that pop into my head. I came to the conclusion that this is the thing I should probably be doing seeing as I frequently forget the ( sometimes) amazing things that run through my head. As egotistical as it may seem, I think my story may be quite interesting to someone, and who knows there’s probably someone who has had similar experiences or ideas.

I will tell my story in the next section of my blog, at least get started on it because it is rather long-winded and if anyone was to actually read this then I would hate to bore them away or give them information overload.

So, here goes into another area of my life long computer experience. Telling my tale and sharing my (sometimes strange) things….Please feel free to enjoy.

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